Headline News….

— Marcy Painter

I, Bad Wolf, am the February poster wolf. Only Bad Wolf could have done away with The Groundhog. What was the catalyst for this heroic feat?

On February 5, 2026, a certain writers’ group was waxing poetically about that filthy rodent, Punxsutawney Phil. The group moderator suggested that Phil could be an amusing subject for the group’s next writing prompt. Amusing, indeed. I was not amused; I was very offended. My ears were burning. I felt the rage rising in my body. I decided, there and then, this would be the last Spring that little twerp would trample upon my tranquility.

Papa Hemingway said he could tell a whole story in a 6-word sentence. My poster has already told you the whole story. But, for the vermin-loving writers who can’t resist a narrative prompt, I will elaborate.

I ate the succulent rodent with intense satisfaction.

At last, the world was rid of that harbinger of starvation and misery.

Eating that no-good marmot established me, Bad Wolf, as the top dog in the food chain. I had the courage to do what no other predator dared to do. For centuries others have only dreamed of making that kill.

I am empowered to face any challenges set before me.

You ask what action I can take next time this happens? Here’s my plan. I’m developing a Substack forum to organize gray wolves nationwide to deal with the next friggin’ rodent who thinks he’s a meteorologist.

After 40 years of High-Risk Obstetric nursing, Marcy is pursuing her life-long interest in writing. Since joining OLLI-USF, she has connected with other writers though classes and SIGs. Her creative and humorous writing has been published in the online journal Long Story, Short. Marcy lives in Lutz/Land O’ Lakes with her miniature poodle, Cookie Bear.