— Sheryl Ann Long
On a recent trip to the library, I discovered Helen Ellis’ delightful little book titled Bring Your Baggage and Don’t Pack Light. It’s filled with twelve essays about life and friendship, all from a middle-aged (or as she terms it — “grown-ass”) woman’s point of view. Ellis writes about “characters” but, bottom line, she herself is the perfect example of a real character. Her stories and experiences are quite comical and entertaining, but still true to life and relatable. Oh, and she’s Southern, which I find almost always means a good storyteller.
The book title comes from the first essay in which five middle-aged, longstanding women friends get together for a holiday after one of them receives a bad medical diagnosis. Ellis is the “funny one” of the bunch. And every group has one. Her essay recalls everything these good friends discussed during their visit, both funny and poignant.
My favorite take-away is “No matter how old we get; we see each other like we first saw each other.” We truly listen. And we don’t judge each other’s baggage.
That rings so true for me. I have friends I’ve known for nearly fifty years—many of whom lived on Sanibel and Captiva Islands during the same period I did. Eventually, we all moved away and onto other more serious things. College, careers, and families replaced our semi-boho island lifestyle. But despite how long between our visits (often months or years), we instantly take up where we left off. There’s no awkwardness, no shyness, no BS. Just talking and sharing. It’s a glorious, blissful feeling. And I thank my lucky stars for these gifts in my life.
There’s another smaller group of friends who are about twenty years my junior. I was favored that they entered my life later than my early “island” years. One strong bond was formed when I returned to college. Another one I met in the workplace. I have the same solid relationship with them where no holds are barred, despite much time passing between our last get-together.
And now in retirement, I find I’m still blessed with making new friends. Through volunteering, new neighbors, taking classes and the classes I teach, I’ve met some of the most fascinating people. Even though we haven’t known each other long enough to have made that special bond yet, the Pollyanna in me knows that for some of them, that sort of relationship will arrive eventually.
I’m not really sure how I should end this, except to wish that you also have an old friend, who sees you like when you first met. One who listens and doesn’t judge your baggage.
Sheryl Long graduated with a BA in Mass Communications from the University of South Florida. In the past she sewed custom clothing to earn money for college, managed an independent bookstore on Sanibel Island, was an artist assistant for Robert Rauschenberg, and produced an international TV series for PBS. After retiring as a communications and marketing manager, Sheryl began taking OLLI classes in 2016 and teaching there in 2019. As well as OLLI, she volunteers at a hospice and a hospital. She has a curious mind and loves a good story. Sheryl is teaching four classes in the Spring/Summer terms — American Women During World War II, Women in Mapmaking Who Didn’t Make the History Books, A Visual History of Mapmaking, Behind the Scenes with Robert Rauschenberg. Click here to register.
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